


be still my foolish heart

by aesphantasmal



Series: superpowers au [5]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: I can have little a projection onto nureyev, I want buddy aurinko to be my mom, M/M, Other, Superpowers AU, as a treat, mind reader + power cancelling juno, shapeshifter nureyev, they are in love, this is deeply sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23412589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesphantasmal/pseuds/aesphantasmal
Summary: Peter Ransom paces the empty corridors of the Carte Blanche late at night. He hasn't really ever been one to rest easy, and especially not after… well, he doesn't particularly want to go down that train of thought.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: superpowers au [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673617
Comments: 57
Kudos: 239





	be still my foolish heart

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't originally gonna wrote more for this au but what u gonna do

Peter Ransom paces the empty corridors of the Carte Blanche late at night. He hasn't really ever been one to rest easy, and especially not after… well, he doesn't particularly want to go down that train of thought. Sometimes he just can't calm his mind down, cannot lay there in the quiet with no stimuli, no distractions to keep his mind from walking down paths he would rather avoid. Lately, it's been both better and worse than usual. Peter Nureyev is thirty-eight (as far as he knows; he may be a year younger or — god forbid — a year older than that, it's not like he knew exactly when he was born) and there is an ache in his back and in his joints that Juno says just happens as you get older and a pain in his ribs from the years of cheap, unsafe binding when he was young on Brahma. No, it's not easy to sleep, but, oh, there is no distraction quite like Juno Steel. He traces Juno's scars when he can't sleep, studying every detail of his face, committing every square inch to memory like the finest of masterpieces, the most intricate of plans. But this particular night, Juno hadn't come to bed. So Ransom was pacing the halls of the Carte Blanche.

The rest of the crew didn't know about their relationship, or at least they'd attempted to keep it that way, for the sake of avoiding awkward questions. He was fine with Juno knowing what he looked like, most of the time, but he is not so sure he wants the rest of the crew knowing. Buddy had informed him that she knew he was older than he claimed to be, or, in her words, "if you really are thirty like you say you are, your criminal career began when you were eight, and you'll forgive me if I find that a little hard to believe, Pete." But the appearance of youth and vitality that Nureyev simply did not possess anymore was important to the appearance that Ransom was still in his prime, not past it like Nureyev knew he was. So him and Juno keep it friendly in public, and he pays as little mind as he can to Buddy and Rita's knowing smiles. He runs over what his excuse for being up and about so late would be if he encountered anyone else. He was absorbed enough in this that he almost opened the door to the lounge before he saw the glow from inside, and heard voices.

"I'm not gonna hope I can turn it off completely. I'm just trying to… I don't know, make it go unfocused or something?" The door was open a crack, and Nureyev could see Buddy learning against the back wall, looking at Juno, who was just out of view. "Venus. Grey. Eleven."

"Correct. It seems to require an effort when you do it?"

"It depends. Enki. Pink. Seven hundred and thirty."

"Correct. Depends on what?"

"How much time I've spent in someone's head, I think? Anansi. Vespa. Minus twenty. Wait, Vespa isn't a colour."

"I can be forgiven for a bit of word association, I think. At first, I assumed this was about public spaces. You haven't exactly been clear about your intentions here."

"You ever tried to get to sleep when someone's talking in the next room?"

"Yes."

"It's kinda like that. Some people just… think loudly. And quickly."

"Rita and maybe Ransom, I assume."

"Rita thinks about so much all the time. I haven't even spent that much time in her head, but it's just so much, but it's not like it's her fault I got mind reading. It's kind of comforting when I'm not trying to sleep, too."

"And Ransom?"

"He's, uh…"

"Would I be correct in assuming you've spent longer in his head than you let on?" Juno must nod, because Buddy continues "Mind telling the story?" Peter freezes until Juno says "I wouldn't want to tell it without at least asking Ransom first. He's just… always thinking. Never a quiet moment. Not even when people are talking and he's supposed to be listening. Uh, don't tell him I said that —"

"I'll keep it in mind."

"Ok, well — I know the last thing he wants is me digging around in his head."

"Not exactly your most exacting detective work."

"I'm out of practice, give me a break."

"You're not that out of practice." 

"I know. I just… For ages knowing too much was my job. But here? I don't want to know things people aren't willing to share with me themselves. I want to trust everyone."

"It's definitely an admirable sentiment. I would like for us all to get to the point where we trust each other. Trust is important in an operation such as this." Her eyes flicked away from Juno, and she stared straight at Peter. "Isn't that right, Ransom?"

Peter froze for a second. He should have known Buddy could see him. Definitely should have realised Juno could hear him, especially since Nureyev's thoughts are apparently far louder in Juno's head than he thought. He doesn't like the idea — Miasma, messing with their minds even now, even when she'd been ripped into atomic gunk far beneath the Martian desert.

"Ransom?" Buddy repeated.

"Yes. Trust is important, Captain." 

"Hm." She raised an eyebrow, like she knew he was just saying that because it was what he thought she wanted to hear.

"My apologies, Captain. I simply needed to ask Juno something, but it can wait."

"You can come in if you want. Provided you don't mind, Juno?"

"Fine by me," Juno said. Peter hesitated for a second, then walked into the lounge, sitting on one of the empty couches.

"Am I simply sitting here?"

"You can help if you want to. We're trying to work out how much control Juno has over his mind reading, if you hadn't gathered. Juno, what's Ransom thinking about?"

"Mars. It's harder to tell at this distance. It's, uh, like when you see things in your peripheral vision but aren't really looking at them? Uh, Ransom, are you sure you want to do this?"

Peter really wasn't sure. He did want to help Juno, and Juno being in his head like this didn't usually have this kind of effect — but Juno reading his mind in a test-like context made him think of the tomb deep under the Martian sands and the voiceless assistants and Miasma and  _ pain  _ and —

"Buddy, ok, I'm not doing the same 'what am I thinking of' test with Ransom. Not like this."

"That's fine by me. Pete? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Captain." He kept his face as blank as he could manage, and took deep breaths as subtly as possible.

"Ransom —"

"Just give me a minute, Juno."

"Alright." He could tell Juno and Buddy were waiting before continuing. He let go of the tension in his shoulders and relaxed more into the chair.

"So there's a distance aspect?" Buddy said. Then, with a knowing tone — "You could swap rooms with someone else so you're further from Ransom and Rita's rooms?"

"I'm, uh, not sure that would work —"

"Oh?" Buddy sounded amused. Her gaze flicked from Juno to Peter then back again. 

"Yeah, I, uh, it doesn't quite work like that, I think. " Juno kept talking, trying and failing to explain his way out of the hole Buddy had talked him into digging. Juno had become far better at the pretense that was part of their line of work, but Nureyev doubts he'd convince the most gullible of people on this, and Buddy Aurinko is far from the most gullible of people.

"Well, if that won't work," she says, finally saving him from himself, "is there anything that does?"

"Uh, sleeping pills kind of helped on bad nights back on Hyperion. Makes it harder to tell what anyone's saying. It all just kind of all blends together, like a white noise kind of thing, but it's not really a long term solution."

"We can discuss what might work with Vespa another time. In the meantime, you might want to try looking into techniques people use to manage their own thoughts. I'm not sure what kind of results you'll get, but it may be worth trying." She looked at the clock. "Well, this has been… enlightening, but I really should get to sleep before Vespa starts to worry. Goodnight, you two." And with that, she left.

Juno waited until she was out of earshot before talking. "Everything ok?"

"Yes, why?"

"Just wondered why you came looking for me."

"I was struggling to sleep, and I decided finding out where you were was more productive than staring at the ceiling."

"Yeah, sorry. I asked Buddy to help me with controlling the mind reading a bit better."

"Have I really been keeping you from sleeping?"

"It's fine. It's just that when you're right next to me, it gets kinda hard to tune your thoughts out. I — uh, I don't think you tend to be thinking about anything that important, though?"

"Oh?"

"It's usually the plans for whatever we're doing the next day, or new aliases, or your skincare regime, or some planet I've never been to, or…"

"You?" Nureyev knew what occupied most of his thoughts around Juno, without having to be told. Juno nodded.

"Think that, uh, kind of goes without saying."

"You said I wasn't thinking about anything particularly important," Nureyev said, smiling and raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever. You know what I meant. Let's go back to the cabin."

They went back to the cabin that had become theirs quickly and quietly, not wanting to wake anyone or alert anyone to their going into the same one. Once they got in and locked the door, Peter took his gloves off, and gently placed his hand on the side of Juno's face. He could feel the shifting sensation of going from Ransom's face to Nureyev's. It was far less jarring than it used to be. Juno was smiling at him fondly.

"If it helps, I think about you a lot too."

"I would certainly hope so," Nureyev replied. Juno rolled his eye and pulled Nureyev down so he could kiss him.

"Really, we should sleep, though," Juno said.

Once they had both changed into sleepwear and lay in bed, limbs tangled around each other, Juno with his eye closed and his breathing steady, Nureyev watches the lady in his arms, the hair that sticks up in odd directions, the warm skin, the more relaxed look to his face. Juno Steel has the power to hurt him in many ways. Strip away all his disguises, reach into his mind and pull out whatever he wants, broadcast his name to anyone who will listen, crush his heart in his hands. But his touches come with consideration and warning. His questions are just that — questions, not a formality, not a  _ "would you kindly tell me or I'll reach in and take what you know anyway." _ Nureyev says  _ "no, I'd rather not talk about it, it's not important,"  _ and Juno trusts and respects that. Juno uses his name with care, and handles his heart like the most irreplaceable glasswork. The self-preservation instincts that have kept Nureyev alive so far fear the lady, in a way, for all the harm he could do. But when he's here, in Nureyev's arms, more beautiful than the thousands of wonders of the galaxy that Nureyev has seen, Nureyev knows exactly three things. One: He does not simply want to survive, keep his heart beating and his lungs breathing. He wants to  _ live _ , and there are few things that make him feel more alive and human that Juno Steel. Two: He trusts Juno. With his life, but also with his heart, with his mind, with his soul. And thr ee: He loves Juno Steel, his flickering smiles and incredible mind and moral outrage and every facet of his being.

"Love you too, Nureyev," the lady mumbles into his pillow. "Can we try and get to sleep now?"

Nureyev kisses Juno's mess of curls, and pulls him in tighter. "Of course, darling."

**Author's Note:**

> comment or else


End file.
